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What do you do if you meet a guy by chance?

What do you do if you meet a guy by chance? Topic: What is a problem solving meeting
May 25, 2019 / By Hillary
Question: while trying to solve a particular problem of yours. He seems a nice person & willing to help u find a solution to that problem, & he goes on & proposes a relationship out of the blue. Not knowing what to say, u say yes, but the more u get to know him & think about it the more u realise that it won't work out between the two of u because he's just not your type of guy - & he seems to be taking everything too fast for u. U also have this strange feeling that he might be wanting you for an ulterior motive. U have picked up some points during your conversations that ring a bell to u to that effect. In fairness to both of u , u decide as early as possible to end it, & trying not to hurt his feeling u tell him instead that u don't feel like a suitable match for him. I would like us to remain friends [without strings attached] if he wants, but he seems deeply disappoited & is still kind of hanging to the hope that I might change my mind, which I doubt much. Actually Stargaze, the problem I was trying to solve when I met him wasn't a guy problem. Thanks anyway.
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Best Answers: What do you do if you meet a guy by chance?

Elrond Elrond | 3 days ago
Never say yes unless you are sure you want a relationship with that person. I was just hurt by a guy in the same manner. I do understand though, I guess your problem was a guy one and you probably weren't able to see this guy as a potential partner but you wanted to try, maybe thought it would bring you quick comfort for a while, a relief when it comes to thinking about your problem. **** like that happens, you are thinking correct here, stay friends with him but don't give him any reason to think you will change your mind, no flirting allowed. Poor guy. Good luck!
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Elrond Originally Answered: Are you a publisher or literary agent? Give me a chance.just a break and a chance?
I'm not a publisher or a literary agent, so I know this isn't going to be the answer you're looking for...but maybe my two cents might help? Have you looked through the book "Writer's Market"? You can find it in any reputable book store or check out your local library. Also, you can go to http://writersmarket.com Each literary agent has specific genres that they work in, so make sure you're submitting to their specifications and in the proper genre. If you're not, you're not going to get any positive feedback. It's not your ideas that are getting rejected, per se, but you might just be looking in the wrong place. Also, publishers [most likely] will not respond to those without a literary agent. It takes too much time to look over a submission that has not passed through the comb of LAs. I don't know if that will help you at all, especially if you're looking to do self-publication. But here are some other websites you might want to check out for literary agent help: http://literarymarketplace.com http://agentquery.com Make sure you're writing your query letters correctly as well. And not everyone will accept electronic submissions. You may have to do snail-mail. But wouldn't it be worth the wait if you were accepted? Anyway, good luck!
Elrond Originally Answered: Are you a publisher or literary agent? Give me a chance.just a break and a chance?
I'm going to tell you the honest truth here. It might not be nice, but this business isn't. Agents are not rejecting you because you aren't writing exactly what they're looking for. They are rejecting you for one of these reasons: 1.) You aren't writing good query letters. 2.) Your story ideas have been done way too many times. 3.) The writing just isn't good enough. 4.) Not following specific guidelines given by the agencies. 5.) Begging for a chance in your query letters. 6.) Sending the queries to "Dear Sir/Madam/Agent." 7.) Sending a fantasy to an agent that specifically isn't looking for fantasy, or one that claims to like horrors. 8.) Your books weren't complete when you queried. 9.) Your books are not proper word count (i.e. a fantasy novel that's 20,000 words, or a fantasy novel that's 140,000 words) I'm not saying that you're doing all of these things. That's not necessarily the case. I'm saying that you're doing one of them. I'm not telling you which, because I don't personally know you, but I'm telling you that those are causes to not having your manuscript read by an agent or publisher. Now, having these problems doesn't mean you're a bad writer, it just means you might be naive. Except number three, which would, of course, mean that you are a bad writer. Again, I don't know you and I haven't read any of your work, so I can't say for sure. Also, I wonder if you really have written four complete, full length novels. Given the amount of work that takes, it would mean you've been seeking publication for four years at least. If you have, then I highly suggest you find another website to get information, or sit down and do some research. Also, give snail-mail queries a chance. Well, there it is. I sincerely hope you don't post something like this where an agent or publisher will actually read it; or you might not get that chance you were looking for. Again, I'm being honest with you, not purposefully rude. I like all aspiring writers, and I honestly think everyone should be given a chance. The thing is, you have to give yourself the chance. Best of luck with all of your publishing endeavors, Jach

Elrond Originally Answered: Should I meet the "other" man?
I am so so so sorry. I don't know what to tell you about whether you should see this guy or not. I can tell you from experience that it is hard to know who the person is. My husband had a 4.5 year affair with someone who was supposed to have been a friend of mine. At least at first she was. Knowing what the person looks like will allow you to put a real face on the person you torture in your dreams as you work through your grief and work through forgiving your wife. My advice to you: 1. Go to the dentist and have him make a mouth guard for you because you will wear your teeth out when you grind them in your sleep. (Found this out through personal experience) 2. Either buy or borrow from the Library the book, "After the Affair," by Dr. Janis Abrams Spring BEFORE you do anything about seeing the "other man." I felt like I was losing my mind...literally...until I read this book. It helped me understand a bit about what was happening to me. The book is written in a non-judgmental way for both the cheater and the cheated. Some chapters were difficult to read because I was being forced to work through grief but it was really worth the effort. 3. Understand that it can take up to 5 years to work through the breach of trust and the grief that is the result. I highly recommend that you two BOTH go to marriage counseling. My husband and I are still together. Sometimes I wonder how we made it through everything alive. Our lives are different, but we are growing closer every day. Good luck to you both!
Elrond Originally Answered: Should I meet the "other" man?
I don't think you will be accomplishing anything positive from meeting the "other" man. It is natural to want to confront the persons involved in hurting you, which is why you want to see him. However, I think this is counterproductive because if you and your wife are trying to move forward from this bump in the road, it is best to let it go and try to fully forgive your wife. Alcohol or not she consented to going home with him and broken the 20yr bonds of trust, this is the REAL problem. You want to see him so you have a person to put the blame on. I suggest, you talk to your wife about why it happen? You are seeking answers from the wrong person (the other man)? Happy couples don't cheat after 20yrs of marriage, she obvious felt something was missing, talk about it. Once you have pointed it out then take the steps necessary to prevent it from happening again. Finally, consciencely think about all the positive aspects of your relationship and this will help you move forward from this traumatic event.
Elrond Originally Answered: Should I meet the "other" man?
Determine what that reason is before you go out on your "mission." It may not be the healthiest move for you or your marriage at this point. I would imagine the curiousity is great as women are also very curious of what that person had that caused their husband to stray. I also know that seeing the other person doesn't help them with their pain or understanding - I just don't think it is possible. It sounds like you have chosen to forgive her and that she is truly remorseful for what she has done. If that is the case, close the door on this and let it go. There isn't anything about seeing this guy that will benefit you or your marriage in my mind. But again, what is your motivation behind it? Be honest with yourself - only you will know what you are really thinking.

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