Is it too soon to meet? How?
Topic: How to write a trip plan
May 25, 2019 / By Marlin Question:
I met this guy online a week ago and we REALLY hit it off. It was like an instant attraction. We are extremely alike and both find each other really attractive. He lives two hours away, which is a trip neither of us mind making. Now, because it has been such an intense instant attraction, we both really feel like meeting each other soon (after 2 weeks). However, I don't know if I should be keeping my emotions in check and being a little more careful about it and wait longer. I know there are dangers to online dating and such, but I am asking about the emotional side of the debate.
Has anyone done this? What should my plan of action be considering not wanting to have sex on the first meeting? Should I plan on traveling back that night? What is the most appropriate way to plan this?
Thanks for any help. =)
Best Answers: Is it too soon to meet? How?
Jerrard | 4 days ago
If you both really want to meet, go ahead. Keep a level head and realize that things might not be what you expected, but who cares, there was an instant attraction and it's what you two can talk about. If you're going to make the trip, and you don't plan on having sex, ask if he doesn't mind you staying over. Cuddling is a good "free first date" thing, so you could just sleep together, no sex involved. Or maybe you can make a date for the day, you travel over in the morning and spend the day together, and when the night hits, you can drive back home.
It's a good idea to keep your libido down, and hopefully he will keep his down too. I came out as a whore when I did this once. My bad luck with this wonderful man was that things kept happening and in retrospect, I should have been wearing a warning sign, because, well, everything worked to my disadvantage. He stopped writing and answering my texts two days after we met, and I felt horrible for all of two days. I got over myself because, well, by now I was 24, not 14, and I wasn't going to let somebody who I didn't really know make me feel like crap.
Hopefully, you aren't giving out the same vibes I did and he'll want to see you again. Don't be too insisting, people don't like that (I learned the hard way), but try not to come across as uninterested either. If you don't have sex, and he wants it, he might lose interest after a while... or when he gets it he might move on... hopefully this won't happen, but be aware that it might. Don't take rejection personally, and don't hate yourself if you feel used, these things happen. Hopefully it will turn out great, but if it doesn't, move on and know that it's not your fault.
👍 236 | 👎 4
Did you like the answer? Is it too soon to meet? How?
Share with your friends
We found more questions related to the topic: How to write a trip plan
Originally Answered: Should I meet the "other" man?
I am so so so sorry. I don't know what to tell you about whether you should see this guy or not. I can tell you from experience that it is hard to know who the person is. My husband had a 4.5 year affair with someone who was supposed to have been a friend of mine. At least at first she was. Knowing what the person looks like will allow you to put a real face on the person you torture in your dreams as you work through your grief and work through forgiving your wife.
My advice to you:
1. Go to the dentist and have him make a mouth guard for you because you will wear your teeth out when you grind them in your sleep. (Found this out through personal experience)
2. Either buy or borrow from the Library the book, "After the Affair," by Dr. Janis Abrams Spring BEFORE you do anything about seeing the "other man." I felt like I was losing my mind...literally...until I read this book. It helped me understand a bit about what was happening to me. The book is written in a non-judgmental way for both the cheater and the cheated. Some chapters were difficult to read because I was being forced to work through grief but it was really worth the effort.
3. Understand that it can take up to 5 years to work through the breach of trust and the grief that is the result. I highly recommend that you two BOTH go to marriage counseling.
My husband and I are still together. Sometimes I wonder how we made it through everything alive. Our lives are different, but we are growing closer every day.
Good luck to you both!
Yes, I've done this quite a bit in fact. If the two of you have agreed to keep sex out of the equation at this point, then the first face to face may make that connection you already feel even stronger. You know the score when this happens, the two of you may toss your agreement to keep your hands off each other right out the window. One thing though, has the communication been solely on e-mail and text? If no web cam has been involved, then go slow. Trouble can brew up considering a two hour trip to get there.
👍 100 | 👎 3
If you both really want to meet each other, then it should be a good idea. I think it's good to get to know them in person just as well as on the internet. Just be careful and see if you two like each other in person as you do online. If you don't wanna have sex the first meeting, then that's also a good idea. If it gets late, stay the night at a hotel unless he has respect for you and will let you crash on his couch.
I've wanted to do this with my long distance ex, but couldn't due to money problems :( I'd still go see him, but as a friend unless we rekindle our romance again.
👍 97 | 👎 2
Unless you two have chatting on webcam (meaning you've seen this man live on webcam moving around), then no, don't meet him.
Online dating is dangerous, and if he just has a bunch of pictures you've seen, you have no way of knowing who this man is.
After seeing him on webcam, and you feel ABSOLUTELY comfortable with him, you should exchange cell phone numbers and talk to each other.
Even better, talk to each other on the cell phone WHILE watching each other on webcam.
If you see the man holding the phone up to his ear and his lips moving, you know he's real.
If you do decide to meet, MEET IN A PUBLIC PLACE.
Find a place you can sit down and talk, with other people around.
A place like Starbucks, McDonalds, a resturant, etc.
Do not meet up at his house.
If you feel comfortable after talking to him in public, you should set up another get together.
Invite him over to your house.
I would not suggest having sex with him on the first meet.
That would just doom any chances of getting to know eachother any further.
If you do decide to have sex, use a condom.
Whatever you decide to do, it's your choice.
Just be careful.
Talking over cellphone while on webcam is your best bet.
👍 94 | 👎 1
Well, I met a girl online and I started to love her. Tho she broke my heart, online with my online ex bf. I was gonna move in with her when I turn 18, what im trying to tell you is, Online relationships suck, and the person can be way diffeernt then you think, i realized that after I found out what my ex gf tried to do with my ex bf, so.. If you feel like its going to last, and he is the right guy, like I felt with heather.. Go ahead and meet him, But if you feel like you dont, wait longer ;)
👍 91 | 👎 0
Originally Answered: I don't think I can meet the deadline. Help?
Write a letter to the Uni explaining as you have in your question, ask that you be given a couple of days extra to pay. It may work, they are not totally heartless;