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I'm torn between 2 big decisions in my life?

I'm torn between 2 big decisions in my life? Topic: The sister challenge part 4
May 25, 2019 / By Suzan
Question: I know asking strangers what I should do with my own life isn't the genius way of figuring this out but I'm hoping maybe other people's insights can help me find my way. I don't normally even post on here... but here goes. I'm a 21 year old male who just moved in with his gf. We've been together for 4 years and we love each other. At the same time, I feel we both have felt that maybe were just killing time with each other. That were not going to be forever. Again though, we both feel we could be with each other forever and don't want to see this end. It's confusing. But it's not about the relationship. It is a factor in my issue though. My issue is this: I'm absolutely torn between 2 paths I can take right now. 1. I want to be special forces. A navy SEAL to be exact. That life just draws me in and I feel like I could miss out on something huge if I don't go. It offers so much I want. Yet... 2. Another part of me wants to stay here and go to college to become a psychiatrist. Yes, I could do that after being a SEAL but that would mean giving up my relationship. I know we couldn't keep it going through 6+ years of that. Especially after finally being together again after a 2 years long distance relationship. We dated for a year before she moved away. So... I could possibly miss a huge life experience or miss a happy complete life. If my writing seemed to favor one side it's accidental. I'm equally torn. I know it's long winded but any insight would be very much appreciated. Thank you. I want to add that there could be repercussions with leaving my gf. She is very lonely since she moved. She only has me and her sister, no close friends. She's not the most stable person and has struggled with depression. I worry about what might happen if I leave her life. I love her and could never be responsible for something bad happening to her. Also, Joan, thank you for your response. I strongly encourage you not to give up on school though. It's never too late for college. I've taken a few classes and have seen 60-70 year old people taking classes. :) @Dr. Doofen, I can assure you it is no such thing. I've always aspired to be the best of something. So if I join the military, I want to be spec ops. I wouldn't be satisfied with anything less. All the while I feel plenty confident I can handle any challenge. I'm as aware as possible outside of the actual training at how tough BUDs is and truly becoming a SEAL is. Again, who knows? Yes, I'm confident but that doesn't mean I could get there and find I'm entirely unsuited for such a regime. ... Am I fighting myself here? Just trying to explore possibilities. Thank you for your response.
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Best Answers: I'm torn between 2 big decisions in my life?

Raphaela Raphaela | 9 days ago
Well first off you need to ask yourself why you want to be a SEAL. Not taking physical standards into account, if your answer is something along the lines of it looks cool or it is inspired by a childhood video game fantasy then you aren't cut out to be a SEAL. Until you are in the military you do not know how tough and demanding it is, and becoming a SEAL well honestly it takes a special person to have the super human mentality to make it through BUDs. If being drawn into the combat lifestyle suits you then that is a bit more reasonable. I highly advise you look at the Army National Guard, it will allow you to serve in a combat position part-time (something not possible in the reserves) while you attend college with the help of military tuition assistance. You are no less a soldier in the National Guard than you are in active duty. The difference is that you are under the command of you state government unless the president puts your unit under federal (happens when you deploy), you get more money for college (state and federal assistance), and your duty is to work on base one weekend a month and one two week period a year which allows you to be a full time student or hold a civilian career. The only drawback is that you may have to temporarily put your college on hold if your unit gets deployed for a tour in Afghanistan (40% of our forces there are guardsmen). But this way it will allow you to have the best of both worlds at the same time and give you the time to figure out your feelings for you GF. And if you enjoy the military and think you have have it takes for SF then you could try to switch to active duty after your contract with the Guard and try to go Army special forces unless you attempt to join the Navy and try SEAL but switching branches while be prior enlisted is very difficult, commissioning is a different story but that will require you to do ROTC is college. Not to mention becoming SF as an officer is harder than enlisting as one. Edit: I also forgot to mention that you can be special forces while in the guard but the extra amount of training it requires will probably interfere with your school. Plus it is entirely dependent on your state as only (I believe) eight states have SF national guard units. You can however go to airborne or air assault school regardless of your state but unless you are assigned to an airborne unit (that once again is dependent on your state and location) then you will not be performing those duties after graduation (unless you transfer active duty and join a airborne/air assault unit in the future).
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We found more questions related to the topic: The sister challenge part 4


Raphaela Originally Answered: I have a problem making big decisions (or any decisions for that matter) question is at bottom?
From your question- I can tell that you are a procrastinator. Procrastinators put things off until the last minute in favor of doing other, more appealing activities. I suggest that you write yourself a schedule for the day and try to stick to it. Schedule time for school, homework, snacks, and some fun time for relaxing or playing games. Write a schedule every day or use the same schedule for each weekday. Just don't out off writing the schedule! If your school offers a class in time management, study skills, or college planning, try to take it. The only way to break the habit of procrastination is to force yourself to do things that you don't want to do. This means making a concious effort to NOT turn on the television or the computer and do your homework. Since you fear not doing things well, ask yourself if you are doing your best work by putting something off until the last minute and rushing to get it done. Ask yourself how much better you could have done had you put in more time on an assignment. There is no quick-fix forprocrastination and it's going to take work, but you can do it. Don't give up! As for decision making- realize that you are going to make mistakes, and that's okay. Think about what you like to do and make a list of all your skills. The make a list of all the jobs you think you would like to have, if you don't already know. Choose a college that offers a variety of majors so you can switch. It is very common for a college student to change majors (I changed mine the first day I entered school!) and you don't have to know what you want to do before you go to college.
Raphaela Originally Answered: I have a problem making big decisions (or any decisions for that matter) question is at bottom?
Look simple solution is to put your self on a schedule. Have a set time and do it. Do your home work every day at The same time. turn off the TV the video games any distractions. I always make my kids do it right after school. then they can go to their sports and talk on the phone and watch television. Make appointments with colleges so that you feel pressured so you get every thing prepared and ready. fill out the app if the college seems to be one that you are interested in right then and there. Just because you get accepted doesn't mean you have to go to that particular one. Go to someone you trust and tell them you are having trouble making decisions about colleges and ask for advice. to simple to be going on about it. Just do it and get it over with. Then you can get to what you would rather be doing.

Meredith Meredith
Seems like you're just comfortable in your relationship. Go to the navy. You'll always wonder. If relationship is meant to be it'll be there when you come back. But what if years from now you break up you'll be kicking yourself for not going. Do the seals and if its meant to be then its meant to be. This is a good way to test if your relationship is meant to be. Sounds as if its not though. I was in a relationship I thought was great and stayed back home to be with my boyfriend instead of going away to my dream college. It's been a few years since then and we've been long broken up and it's too late for that school now. My life would have been so much better if I didn't hold back from what I knew was best for me because of a relationship. I strongly regret it. Best of luck.
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