Just got divorced now me and my children need a home to live in?
Topic: Support case sent to another state
July 23, 2019 / By Avaline Question:
Last year my family went through an ugly divorce. My husband left me and our 3 children for another woman. He was still very controlling even though he didnt live at our house anymore he even took it as far as beating me with a belt one night when he decided to drop by. So I moved my family out and moved in to my parents small house. I have no where to go. My credit is ruined because of the divorce and he cut me off all of our bank accounts. I had just had our 3rd child so I wasnt working at the time. Now Im stuck in this situation and not sure how to get out of it. I have a low income but would really like for us to get our own place. There has to be help out there somewhere for us. And advice or info would be greatly appreciated.
oh and No I will never get into a relationship like that again. My children are my main concern right now and I have started recieving child support Im having it garnished from his check every month. But With a low income and bad credit Im not really sure if we qualify for anything.
We did go to court I brought evidence ( photographs) but charges were dropped and the protection from abuse order was sent to the judge who was doing our divorce in which he dropped. The state of alabama has a crooked court system. His attorney worked in the DA office so when I got to court they were already chatting like old friends. It was a really unfair case. And no he never had laid hands on me before that night.. Im not if he had taken something or if it was that he was drinking but I got a pretty good beating and I never want to go through that again.
Best Answers: Just got divorced now me and my children need a home to live in?
Abegail | 9 days ago
Some cities have low income housing thirty percent of your income....
Go to DSHS child support office too.
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Originally Answered: Doesn't it seem like children's homework loads are too much nowdays, my kids come home with 2 hours of home.
I am a teacher. At our school, our homework policy is 10 minutes of homework per grade (e.g 3rd grade = 30 minutes). And it should never be new material, only to reinforce what has been already taught. For grades 3-5, 20 minutes of that is supposed to be reading practice. Reading is supposed to happen a few nights each week for the other grades.
I agree that 2 hours plus is too much homework, especially since kids are in general much more involved in after school activities than they used to be, and many families have 2 working parents or single working parents as opposed to someone waiting at home to help.
At the same time, with No Child Left Behind there is so much pressure to make progress and have high test scores, that teachers and schools are in a bind. They are limited how much they can teach in a single school year, so unfortunately it's going home now.
When he "beat" you "with a belt" you should have IMMEDIATELY called the police and locks changed on the door and a restraining order issued. Sounds like none of this was done and my suggestion is to seek shelter in a battered women's facility within your area or go to county services and see if there are currently any program that might help you. You may have to stay with your parents until you can arrange something...This is a nightmarish situation, to state the least...If he was this way BEFORE the first child, or after...there was your "red flag" of warning not to have any more, but the "die is cast" as they say and now you must think of the kids as you are doing. I'd sure go after him for child support, at the very least.
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He owes child support for his children - go to court and get that settled. Go to Social Services and ask for help. If your income is so low you will probably qualify for some type of aid. And if you get remarried someday, remember this lesson. Always keep a bank account of your own. You can have a joint bank account with your spouse that you each put an agreed amount into every month. Then the rest of the money you earn you should keep in your own account so that you do not wake up one day in this situation again.
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Contact the state welfare office and ask for assistance for the present time. They will help you get a place to live, because you are considered homeless. There are low income apt. that go by the amount of money you make. If you didn't file charges against this man, you should, he should be in jail for domestic abuse. The state will also go after him for child support and if he doesn't pay, then off to jail he will go.
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I am sorry to hear about your situation, however you need to see if you can get some child support from him. To get child support go to your local DCF office and find out from there where to go or find out from family or friends. Second find out your state agency and apply for child care assistant through something called title 20, in your state it might be under another name. You need to get very similar with your local DCF office. Also apply for food stamps, medicaid, housing assistant, child care, also work programs that will help you get a job quicker or training to get a better job. Stay at your parents for as long as you can and save your money. when your ready to move ask you parents to put their good name up to get a better place to live for yourself and kids. ALSO AND MOST IMPORTANT PART GET A RETRAINING ORDER, THAT WAY WHEN THE SOB COMES BACK. HIT HIM WITH EVERYTHING YOU GOT, EVEN THE KITCHEN SINK, HIT HARD. GOT IT. YOU DON'T WANT YOUR KIDS TO BE MOTHERLESS. Because its obvious that he doesn't give a flying f***k about his own kids to hurt the person who is caring for them. BE A STRONG WOMAN, I WILL PRAY FOR YOU.
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You will probably qualify for Section 8 Housing. This is low income, govt paid housing for families. You can rent from any landlord, as long as that landlord is ok with section 8. Many are, as the check is guaranteed to them since it is from the govt.
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several states offer low income housing for families such as your's. please don't move in with another guy, try to take care of yourself and your kids before you make that move. i'm sorry about your husband, truly. what a jerk! you can do this. do searches for your state and low-income housing. some of the homes are not bad at all and great for woman such as you!
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the state of Alabama have great domestic violence laws - I work for a county Sheriff's and i know we do - something else that you arent telling us - I've directed countless women to shelters - theres like tons of em in Alabama - especially ones for women and children - and the restraining orders are enforced diligently
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Originally Answered: How can I make sure my children go to live with my mum, not their dad, if something happens to me?
Write a will.
I know it seems weird and extreme but seriously, write a will.
Make sure in your will you state STRAIGHT OUT that you do not want him to have them and that you want your mother to have them. Have your mother sign a separate piece of paper saying she understands that she will be their full parent if you die.
Also, make sure to include in the will and custody statement that the terms are irregardless of the conditions of your death.
That means that, say for example you die because your mom accidently hit you with a car. When in that case he could usually go to court and claim she is unfit and hits people with moving cars, She would still get your kids before him because you said no matter what.
Trust me,I am a funeral director, I know these things lol.