Why can’t I meet people at a party event?

Why can’t I meet people at a party event? Topic: How to improve my problem solving skills
May 25, 2019 / By Paulette
Question: I don’t understand why I am having trouble meeting women. I have great personality, I have the balls to go over to a group of strangers with talking to them and they would just blow me off, treat me like I am weird, and not talk at all and this happens all the time! I think its better to be outgoing rather than me just sitting by myself in silence and being creepy. My friends are never around to support me and I have to go by myself to mingle with people but when I do, I would introduce myself and it gets really awkward and I would say to the women: “Hi, I would like to come over here and talk to you. I seem lost and just wanted to come by and sit with you guys if that’s alright.” And I would just be honest, be myself and I would say: “I’m so and so.. what are your names?” and they would be very rude, arrogant, and say: “Um I think we are going to go.” Or they would give me one word answers and ignore me and tonight at this event, I went home crying in tears ever since this woman started walking away from me, blew me off, and just treated me like I was a psychopath and I even went over and said to her: “Hey sorry if I was bothering you, I really was just trying to make a conversation and be friendly.” And this woman ignored me and just walked away with not saying anything and it made me furious! WHY CAN’T I HAVE ATTENTION WHEN I GO OUT?!!!! I have aspergers by the way and I am really trying to improve on my social skills BUT NOONE TALKS TO ME AND DOESN’T WANT TO GET TO KNOW ME! I AM GETTING SICK OF PAYING HIGH MONEY ATTENDING SINGLES EVENTS AND THEY ARNT REALLY SINGLES EVENTS SINCE THEY MET SOMEONE! How can I solve this problem? I really want to write a complaint to the organizer of this event but I don’t want to be too desperate, rude, or anything like that but I want to tell her the problem because at this point, my feelings are really hurt and I don’t want to have a bad reputation!
Best Answer

Best Answers: Why can’t I meet people at a party event?

Mariel Mariel | 4 days ago
ok so i just had to read what asbergers was all about before i could even answer your question as i have no knowledge of any of that...... another problem being ive never met you or seen you, i dont know who you carry yourself around other people and from what im reading it doesnt really seem like your coming off like a weird person. i know that if you came up to me like that i woudlnt have minded. im just thinking its the type of events your going to might be wrong for you, i know ive been to a couple of places were it was just full of up tight snobby people and they were all assholes to me too, any ways i suggest maybe you try interact with people elsewhere, a change of scenery maybe. you could also be coming onto these people who are already a group of close friends and they feel like your interrupting them some how as youre not part of their group. sorry i couldnt be of much more help, these are just thought and suggestions i just came up with, good luck bro
👍 176 | 👎 4
Did you like the answer? Why can’t I meet people at a party event? Share with your friends

We found more questions related to the topic: How to improve my problem solving skills

Mariel Originally Answered: Where do 40 something singles go to meet people?
DFW used to have a really neat social meeting operation that functioned at two levels: one mostly big and social and the other smaller and Christian. The basic Idea was to give people something in common for the evening, so people were assigned to groups of 8-10 at random as they came in and the groups met for an hour or so and discussed the question(s) of the evening in small rooms (hotel rooms mostly). Besides having time to look over the 5-6 people of the opposite sex in the group, the topic gave the chance for discussion when the whole group reassembled for noshes and drinks. The large group was paid admission that covered noshes and a couple of drinks; the small group was "bring something to eat" or pay. Don't know if this is still around. Otherwise some possibilities are co-ed athletic events (volley ball, baseball, tennis) sponsored by churches, YMCA/YWCA's, city rec centers; arts related tours of museums and gallery openings and art fests; and neutral open events like the balloon fest at Celina this weekend (if it stops raining) or Plano later on; heritage days that are common in the fall, harvest events. I think the important thing is to find things you are interested and can talk about without having a formal presence (like to to a play or movie expecting to pick someone up) and get away from the formal stalking of the bars. Depending on your attraction or aversion to churches, many in the DFW area have singles groups that have non-religious activities - sports, arts, etc. When I was single, I found a group to have Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner with almost every year that I wanted to in several different churches without being forced into a commitment to join any of them. In some cases, the events were tied to a charitable act (like singing carols at an old folks home) that I had no problems joining in. The key in some cases is simply saying, "This has been fun, I'll be coming back. Could I ask you to join me in a snack or coffee before you go home?"

Korrine Korrine
Don't write a complaint to the event organizer. That would be weird and creepy, and they WILL tell people about it, which will give you a repuation. This is hard because your Asberger's syndrome makes it very difficult for you to be able to identify the weird vibe you are giving people. That's what it is, it 's a weird vibe. These kind of social situations you are putting yourself in are NOT the right places for you to meet women. It's just going to be challenging for you, because social adaptation is what your disorder is all about, mostly. I don't know everything about Asberger's, so you really need to find some kind of support group online, that has people who know what it is like to have this challenge. They can give you advice from experience. You need to start there.
👍 70 | 👎 2

Jaydon Jaydon
Unfortunately, you are particularly vulnerable to this, due to having Aspergers. Most people do not understand, nor account for that when they attend social functions. Why not try to find a social group that is for people with Aspergers or that know someone with aspergers? It would make it much easier for you. Also, meeting people through other people would be a better option, because the knowledge of that fact that you have Aspergers. Your condition can be confused with that of an unstable person, if no one is aware that you have Aspergers. I see plenty of Aspergers support groups online, but I did not know which city you are in. Try looking online or in your telephone book, to see if there is one in your community or near by. They usually sponsor dances and social get-to-gethers for people with Aspergers and their families. good Luck and God bless You. It is too bad that more people are not familiar with Aspergers and other afflictions or disabilities that make socialization more difficult.
👍 67 | 👎 0

Evelyn Evelyn
Dude, when starting the conversation when you walk up to people, say something short and funny. They are way more likely to talk to you then. Anyways, if they are being total jerks, its their fault for not talking to you, good luck bro!
👍 64 | 👎 -2

Colena Colena
Maybe your punching above your weight, would you describe yourself as hot or average? You will find that special one someday until then just relax and enjoy yourself. In the mean time check out this link: http://www.fleshjack.com/
👍 61 | 👎 -4

Colena Originally Answered: Whats a way for teenagers (14-16) to meet new people online?
Mariel is correct that these social networking sites can be a good way to meet new people but you also have to be careful. I don't use myspace because of the uncontrollable crazy pop-up windows, but I joined Facebook a few months ago and it's been great. Perhaps the best thing for me has been connecting with my nieces and nephews, who live in other towns. I only get to see them once a year, and always felt like I was missing watching them grow up. With Facebook I can communicate with them everyday, see their pix, see what they're up to and what's on their minds, and I've become quite close to some of them. This makes me so happy to the point of tears almost every day. I feel like they are with me, and this wouldn't have been possible with other forms of communication like telephone or email. In terms of meeting new people, nine of my Facebook friends I have never met in person before, mostly recommended by my other friends. That's remarkable because I haven't even been trying to meet new people. Of the nine, three of them I chat with more than anyone else on Facebook, and I consider them close friends now (Facebook has a P2P chat function, like IRC but without file sharing). Also, even though I'm an "old" man, I befriended two young women on Facebook because we have similar obsessions with Regina Spektor's songs (you may remember from an insane answer I gave to one of your previous questions!). None of my "old" peeps understands my obsession, so these connections provide vital "nourishment" to a large chunk of my brain. One of them was only 16, and turned out to be really charming and clever and fun, and since then we've become friends beyond our interest in Ms. Spektor. Although this has been great for me, I am the first to acknowledge that there can be at least an appearance of impropriety when an older man befriends a teenager, and unfortunately there are a lot of creeps out there with malicious intentions. In the case of this young peep, she's 17 now and smart enough to take care of herself, but her older sister befriended me to check out my info and my peeps and make sure I didn't hurt her sister. That's fine with me, and in fact I'd do the same thing if I had a younger sister or daughter. But your first line of defense will be your other friends, who will be able to see everything that's "written on" your Facebook "wall". If someone writes something rude or creepy or inappropriate, your friends will see it and say "hey, get rid of that jerk!" But there are other things you have to watch out for. Facebook has private email, which your friends can't see. Someone could send you a creepy email or chat request, but then you can delete that guy. The most insidious threat comes from people who are not who they claim to be. If you befriend someone you haven't met, you have to do your homework. Check out all their pictures and make sure that they have family and friends in some of them, and that their family and friends are "tagged" in them and have made comments about the photos. You can also look at their friends list and make sure their friends and family members are there. Check out their profile information and wall and see if they look like a teenager's. If you get a bad feeling, delete the person or get a second opinion from one of your peeps. If you like what you see, initiate a chat with the person. Although it would take considerable work, it's possible that some depraved individual could create an elaborate network of fake friends, fake pictures, and fake information, to make it look like he's someone he's not. But it's extremely difficult for a non-teenager to pass himself off as a teenager in a live chat. I know I could never do it. Ask questions about his high school, teachers, friends, parents, siblings, favorite subjects, bands he likes, etc., lots and lots of questions. I doubt that a non-teenager will be able to fool you. There are also lots of groups on Facebook that you can use as a filter for new friends. You can join groups that interest you, e.g., Regina Spektor or Jonas Brothers, and chat there with people who share your interests. They will not have access to your info until you feel comfortable with them and send them invitations. Finally, your best defense is that you're on the internet and no one will know where you are or where you live. Don't put your personal information in your profile page, and don't give it to anyone you're not comfortable with. My nieces and nephews just put "ask" in the address, email, and phone number fields. Anyone who needs to know already knows, and if you find a new friend you trust you can pass it on. For a location you can use your county or state since you live in a small town. Facebook has a fairly elaborate system of options to protect your privacy, but unfortunately it's difficult to grasp (at least for me). But take the time to learn it and understand who can see your info, and you will be able to meet new friends in a safe environment.

If you have your own answer to the question how to improve my problem solving skills, then you can write your own version, using the form below for an extended answer.