Help with essay. plz?

Help with essay. plz? Topic: Essay about learning from my mistakes
June 20, 2019 / By Darrell
Question: i have to do a scholarship paper n i am totally lost..i have writers block.. someone give me some help to start it out..? the question is.. How will education change your life? i kno its easy but like i said writer block lol
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Best Answers: Help with essay. plz?

Baal-Zebub Baal-Zebub | 9 days ago
Well, stop asking yourself what you think admissions officers want to hear, and start asking yourself..."How will education change my life, SERIOUSLY." One thing you ABSOLUTELY must know about admissions essays is that there is a person behind a desk that has to read this **** 8 hours a day, ON THE SAME SUBJECT. I don't care HOW much you like to read, there is not a single person on the planet who wouldn't get bored out of their minds reading that crap. So what you ABSOLUTELY must remember, is to ask yourself what sort of essay would be different from all the rest of the essays that would make it really cool to read? Stop thinking about what EVERYBODY ELSE is going to write, and think about things you can write and say that are different. Don't say some cliche thing like, "Education will empower me to learn from the mistakes of the world and make the planet a better place" or "Education will give me the knoweldge and tools I need to enact change or prevent global warming or find a cure for Swine Flu blah blah blah." Those ideas are a dime a dozen. Admissions officers aren't looking for you to convince them that you are a humanitarian or some goody two-shoes. They want to see that a) You can WRITE-- be eloquent, persuasive, passionate, and use a diverse vocabulary b) You can THINK -- whatever you write about, examine it and don't just say whatever everyone else will say, really put thought into it and perhaps bring up an issue or idea that the admissions officer never thought about, or that no one else has written about c) That you are a living, breathing INDIVIDUAL -- stand out from the rest of the people. Schools look for these kind of kids that are different and leaders of thought because those people add value to a university. There is a saying out there that you don't want to appear as "just a number" to the admissions officers. Because at the end of the day, grades will only get you so far. The essays teach them about who YOU are, what you believe in, what you stand for, what you feel, what you think is important, and these essays are what ultimately will make or potentially break you in getting into a college. That said, who are you? What do you live for, what do you stand for? What are you trying to achieve in life? What is your passion? Let thyese questions guide you on how to phrase your essay. Your essay is a compliation of your words, which are a window into who you are and that's what the admins want to figure out. So, for example, say you are passionate about fungi that grow in the amazon rainforest. Say you believe that the power for all sorts of unknown cures can be had by discovering these fungi. If that's the case, then write all about how education will teach you more about how to discover these fungi, and the processes and ledical procedures needed to grow them and anayze them and that this will change your life because you believe that this is your ultimate skill in life and not only will you be fulfilling it and being a happy person, but your fulfilling your cosmic/divine role in the universe too :P Just a thought. Sorry I couldn't give you ideas, but after all, you need to stay focused on what the point of essays are: No one can give you an idea because the idea just come from INSIDE YOU.
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We found more questions related to the topic: Essay about learning from my mistakes

Baal-Zebub Originally Answered: U.S History Essay. The Cold War was mainly the U.S.’fault. I need some thesis ideas, to write my five paragraph essay?
1) As soon as the UN was formed after WWII the Americans offered to place nuclear weapons under the control of their newly formed UN if the rest of the world didn't try to create their own nuclear weapons. The Russians refused because the UN was created by the US and held undue influence in the organization, they simply didn't trust us. The Russians would only accept a total disarmament which the Americans wouldn't accept because Russia's conventional military force was enormous and already on the ground in Europe. We needed the A-bombs to keep Stalin at bay without them we would have had to keep a large conventional war weary force in Europe after WWII. So we took the easy route told the Russians to get stuffed and kept our nukes. 2) As the Cold War progressed the US LIED about the Russian's actual combat capabilities in order to justify our enormous military build up. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bomber_gap https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missile_ga... 3) The US started the Cuban missile crisis by stationing nuclear missiles on the USSR's doorstep in Turkey the Russians were only trying to keep up with the US nuclear posturing. After the failed US backed "Bay of Pigs" invasion the Cubans asked the Russians to station nuclear missiles in Cuba to deter future US aggression. The Russians finally agreed when the US put nuclear missiles in Turkey and Italy well within range of Moscow. Note: during the Cuban missile crisis a Russian sub commander saved the world by NOT returning fire with a nuclear torpedo after an American depth charge attack. In addition after the crisis the US quietly removed our missiles from Turkey and Italy that is how close our nuclear brinkmanship brought the world to WWIII. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasili_Ark...
Baal-Zebub Originally Answered: U.S History Essay. The Cold War was mainly the U.S.’fault. I need some thesis ideas, to write my five paragraph essay?
the publicly stated intention of the USSR was to take over and convert the world to communism. this philosophy changed from an idyll musing to accomplished fact as the result of WW2 and Stalin was able to take over the governments of Poland, part of Germany, Estonia, Albania, Slovakia, Hungary, and several other states. This generated a great, and probably justifiable fear in the western states who had also been weakened by the war. The response from America was the formation of NATO to counter USSR and SEATO to counter China militarily, and to institute the diplomatic policy of "containment". The upshot of containment was to use all means short of warfare to halt the communist expansion, these efforts were what became dubbed "the cold war" by the press. Containment allowed the USSR and China to keep its vassal states with approval from the west in return for not attempting expansion elsewhere. It was at best an uneasy truce, exemplified by Khrushchev promising to bury the children of America. Without America, there would not have been a cold war so blame us, but the alternative would have certainly been WW3. This ended when the USSR collapsed, primarily from it inability to feed its people from failed harvests in the Ukraine.
Baal-Zebub Originally Answered: U.S History Essay. The Cold War was mainly the U.S.’fault. I need some thesis ideas, to write my five paragraph essay?
The only way you could write an essay like this is by justifying the paranoid point of view of the Soviets. I don't envy your job.

Baal-Zebub Originally Answered: Is this essay good? Plz give me some comments,some improvements and the IELTS band score for this essay?
> SHOULD FOOD MANUFACTURERS BE FORCE Wrong verb form: it should be 'forced'. > Nowadays, junk food is gradually becoming a specific part of daily life I think it was always 'specific'. A more to the point word like 'important', 'basic' or 'constant' is better for the essay purpose. > Eating much of these foods causes obesity and premature death; especially foods with high fat Two uses of 'foods' very close to each other. I suggest replacing one of them by a pronoun. > In this essay, I intend to show that food manufacturers need to be forced to ... IMO, a good essay should speak for itself, so the 28 words you use to close the paragraph could be replaced by something more original. > what is good for their body. '...their bodies', actually :) For those cases, if unsure, use adjectives, for example: 'what is good on a corporal level'. > why should the food manufacturers be forced to lower the fat, sugar and salt? You're recycling too much IMO. > The government does not need to make the decision... Unless somebody said the government 'needs' to make that decision, there's no reason for you to state that (i.e. you don't need it, funnily enough). I think something like 'isn't supposed to make the decision' or 'can't afford making the decision' is better. > For example, people would eat more than a sausage if the salt and fat content has reduced because they are not satisfied with these tasteless sausages. While there are no grammatical errors, the way you phrase this part is a bit rookie. Suggested revision: 'For example, a low-fat low-salt sausage would hardly satisfy consumers, so they'd try to compensate by increasing their intake.' > Thus, forcing food manufacturers to lower the fat, sugar and salt content in food may induce people to eat more. You're spinning 'round too much IMO. > young or old alike. Suggested revision: 'young and old alike'. Reasons: it avoids a gratuitous alliteration ('or old') and emphasises the warning nature of the essay. > children being overweight result from taking excessive junk food. This one's not correct. Suggested revisions: '... overweight, a result from...' or '...overweight resulting from...' > Therefore, forcing manufacturers to lower the fat, sugar and salt content in food is necessary. Again, you're repeating yourself too much. > When you eat a poor diet with all kinds of junk food You don't eat a diet, you either 'eat all kinds of junk food' or 'have a poor diet with all kinds of junk food'. > Furthermore, having unhealthy food causes premature deaths. There's nothing wrong in 'having' unhealthy food, unless you're 'eating' it as well ;) Of course, 'having unhealthy meals' does work very well here. 513 words all in all, which is a bit too much for IELTS (you're good to go with half of it), but both grammar and fluency are sound. I'd give you a 7 band or maybe a 7.5.
Baal-Zebub Originally Answered: Is this essay good? Plz give me some comments,some improvements and the IELTS band score for this essay?
First: I'd pick a better title. A hook for the reader. How about: Food or Junk Food? or "Healthy Eating Habits Is Not Enough" or The Sweet Enemy: Junk Food. Then, I suppose you have followed a writing procedure: For each paragraph you define: Paragraph Function: Description or narration. Brainstorming Focusing Topic sentences Supporting sentences Closing sentence In the second paragraph you write an opposite point of view of what you want to deliver in your essay. You implied that people would eat more:"Thus, forcing food manufacturers to lower the fat, sugar and salt content in food may induce people to eat more." ; and this is like counterattacking yourself. Hope this can be of help to you.

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