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Need help with my ESL essay?

Need help with my ESL essay? Topic: Expressions to use in essays
June 20, 2019 / By Elada
Question: Hi. I'm writing an essay on International Relations for my esl class tomorrow and I could use help with a few things. I wrote in the intro: "In today's world, it may be a cliche to say the world is shrinking at a rapid place. Trite as it sounds, it is true as it gets." 2 questions here: 1. Does the first sentence sound awkward? If it does, how could I improve it? 2. Does the expression, "trite as it sounds, it is true as it gets" make sense? fyi. I mean to say that although the previous sentence is obvious, it does hold true in this state of affairs. Thanks in advance.
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Best Answers: Need help with my ESL essay?

Cari Cari | 4 days ago
In today's world, it may be a cliche to say that the world is shrinking at a rapid rate. Trite as it sounds, it is true as can be.
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Cari Originally Answered: U.S History Essay. The Cold War was mainly the U.S.’fault. I need some thesis ideas, to write my five paragraph essay?
1) As soon as the UN was formed after WWII the Americans offered to place nuclear weapons under the control of their newly formed UN if the rest of the world didn't try to create their own nuclear weapons. The Russians refused because the UN was created by the US and held undue influence in the organization, they simply didn't trust us. The Russians would only accept a total disarmament which the Americans wouldn't accept because Russia's conventional military force was enormous and already on the ground in Europe. We needed the A-bombs to keep Stalin at bay without them we would have had to keep a large conventional war weary force in Europe after WWII. So we took the easy route told the Russians to get stuffed and kept our nukes. 2) As the Cold War progressed the US LIED about the Russian's actual combat capabilities in order to justify our enormous military build up. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bomber_gap https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missile_ga... 3) The US started the Cuban missile crisis by stationing nuclear missiles on the USSR's doorstep in Turkey the Russians were only trying to keep up with the US nuclear posturing. After the failed US backed "Bay of Pigs" invasion the Cubans asked the Russians to station nuclear missiles in Cuba to deter future US aggression. The Russians finally agreed when the US put nuclear missiles in Turkey and Italy well within range of Moscow. Note: during the Cuban missile crisis a Russian sub commander saved the world by NOT returning fire with a nuclear torpedo after an American depth charge attack. In addition after the crisis the US quietly removed our missiles from Turkey and Italy that is how close our nuclear brinkmanship brought the world to WWIII. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasili_Ark...
Cari Originally Answered: U.S History Essay. The Cold War was mainly the U.S.’fault. I need some thesis ideas, to write my five paragraph essay?
the publicly stated intention of the USSR was to take over and convert the world to communism. this philosophy changed from an idyll musing to accomplished fact as the result of WW2 and Stalin was able to take over the governments of Poland, part of Germany, Estonia, Albania, Slovakia, Hungary, and several other states. This generated a great, and probably justifiable fear in the western states who had also been weakened by the war. The response from America was the formation of NATO to counter USSR and SEATO to counter China militarily, and to institute the diplomatic policy of "containment". The upshot of containment was to use all means short of warfare to halt the communist expansion, these efforts were what became dubbed "the cold war" by the press. Containment allowed the USSR and China to keep its vassal states with approval from the west in return for not attempting expansion elsewhere. It was at best an uneasy truce, exemplified by Khrushchev promising to bury the children of America. Without America, there would not have been a cold war so blame us, but the alternative would have certainly been WW3. This ended when the USSR collapsed, primarily from it inability to feed its people from failed harvests in the Ukraine.
Cari Originally Answered: U.S History Essay. The Cold War was mainly the U.S.’fault. I need some thesis ideas, to write my five paragraph essay?
The only way you could write an essay like this is by justifying the paranoid point of view of the Soviets. I don't envy your job.

Allaric Allaric
You may have great ideas and facts that you want to write about, but somewhere during the writing process you start mixing them up. Started with a good, solid outline. Your spelling, grammar and punctuation should be perfect. Your thoughts are organized and the reader can understand your main point and how you supported that point. A focused paper is the key to writing a good essay. You can go through with best essay writing reviews site and make the particular list of companies and visit the site one by one and check the sample of essays, read their different type of essays. Students mainly know the benefit of writing review.
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Allaric Originally Answered: Is this essay good? Plz give me some comments,some improvements and the IELTS band score for this essay?
> SHOULD FOOD MANUFACTURERS BE FORCE Wrong verb form: it should be 'forced'. > Nowadays, junk food is gradually becoming a specific part of daily life I think it was always 'specific'. A more to the point word like 'important', 'basic' or 'constant' is better for the essay purpose. > Eating much of these foods causes obesity and premature death; especially foods with high fat Two uses of 'foods' very close to each other. I suggest replacing one of them by a pronoun. > In this essay, I intend to show that food manufacturers need to be forced to ... IMO, a good essay should speak for itself, so the 28 words you use to close the paragraph could be replaced by something more original. > what is good for their body. '...their bodies', actually :) For those cases, if unsure, use adjectives, for example: 'what is good on a corporal level'. > why should the food manufacturers be forced to lower the fat, sugar and salt? You're recycling too much IMO. > The government does not need to make the decision... Unless somebody said the government 'needs' to make that decision, there's no reason for you to state that (i.e. you don't need it, funnily enough). I think something like 'isn't supposed to make the decision' or 'can't afford making the decision' is better. > For example, people would eat more than a sausage if the salt and fat content has reduced because they are not satisfied with these tasteless sausages. While there are no grammatical errors, the way you phrase this part is a bit rookie. Suggested revision: 'For example, a low-fat low-salt sausage would hardly satisfy consumers, so they'd try to compensate by increasing their intake.' > Thus, forcing food manufacturers to lower the fat, sugar and salt content in food may induce people to eat more. You're spinning 'round too much IMO. > young or old alike. Suggested revision: 'young and old alike'. Reasons: it avoids a gratuitous alliteration ('or old') and emphasises the warning nature of the essay. > children being overweight result from taking excessive junk food. This one's not correct. Suggested revisions: '... overweight, a result from...' or '...overweight resulting from...' > Therefore, forcing manufacturers to lower the fat, sugar and salt content in food is necessary. Again, you're repeating yourself too much. > When you eat a poor diet with all kinds of junk food You don't eat a diet, you either 'eat all kinds of junk food' or 'have a poor diet with all kinds of junk food'. > Furthermore, having unhealthy food causes premature deaths. There's nothing wrong in 'having' unhealthy food, unless you're 'eating' it as well ;) Of course, 'having unhealthy meals' does work very well here. 513 words all in all, which is a bit too much for IELTS (you're good to go with half of it), but both grammar and fluency are sound. I'd give you a 7 band or maybe a 7.5.
Allaric Originally Answered: Is this essay good? Plz give me some comments,some improvements and the IELTS band score for this essay?
First: I'd pick a better title. A hook for the reader. How about: Food or Junk Food? or "Healthy Eating Habits Is Not Enough" or The Sweet Enemy: Junk Food. Then, I suppose you have followed a writing procedure: For each paragraph you define: Paragraph Function: Description or narration. Brainstorming Focusing Topic sentences Supporting sentences Closing sentence In the second paragraph you write an opposite point of view of what you want to deliver in your essay. You implied that people would eat more:"Thus, forcing food manufacturers to lower the fat, sugar and salt content in food may induce people to eat more." ; and this is like counterattacking yourself. Hope this can be of help to you.

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