What can i add to this essay?

What can i add to this essay? Topic: Good job application essays
June 25, 2019 / By Ammihud
Question: There are many tips for job hunting in today's market.* You should make a resume to hand out with your application. It is helpful if you call the companies to see if they want you for an interview. This shows them that you want the job. Always try to look nice when you are looking for a job. It helps if you look professional.
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Best Answers: What can i add to this essay?

Tirzah Tirzah | 7 days ago
*By following these tips you can increase your chances of getting the job you have always wanted. (then maybe add more details like the first person said) A good resume should have your work experience, education, references, and should give the company an idea of what your goals are. (Also add details about how to look nice.. like being well-groomed, what to wear...)
👍 182 | 👎 7
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Tirzah Originally Answered: U.S History Essay. The Cold War was mainly the U.S.’fault. I need some thesis ideas, to write my five paragraph essay?
1) As soon as the UN was formed after WWII the Americans offered to place nuclear weapons under the control of their newly formed UN if the rest of the world didn't try to create their own nuclear weapons. The Russians refused because the UN was created by the US and held undue influence in the organization, they simply didn't trust us. The Russians would only accept a total disarmament which the Americans wouldn't accept because Russia's conventional military force was enormous and already on the ground in Europe. We needed the A-bombs to keep Stalin at bay without them we would have had to keep a large conventional war weary force in Europe after WWII. So we took the easy route told the Russians to get stuffed and kept our nukes. 2) As the Cold War progressed the US LIED about the Russian's actual combat capabilities in order to justify our enormous military build up. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bomber_gap https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missile_ga... 3) The US started the Cuban missile crisis by stationing nuclear missiles on the USSR's doorstep in Turkey the Russians were only trying to keep up with the US nuclear posturing. After the failed US backed "Bay of Pigs" invasion the Cubans asked the Russians to station nuclear missiles in Cuba to deter future US aggression. The Russians finally agreed when the US put nuclear missiles in Turkey and Italy well within range of Moscow. Note: during the Cuban missile crisis a Russian sub commander saved the world by NOT returning fire with a nuclear torpedo after an American depth charge attack. In addition after the crisis the US quietly removed our missiles from Turkey and Italy that is how close our nuclear brinkmanship brought the world to WWIII. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasili_Ark...
Tirzah Originally Answered: U.S History Essay. The Cold War was mainly the U.S.’fault. I need some thesis ideas, to write my five paragraph essay?
the publicly stated intention of the USSR was to take over and convert the world to communism. this philosophy changed from an idyll musing to accomplished fact as the result of WW2 and Stalin was able to take over the governments of Poland, part of Germany, Estonia, Albania, Slovakia, Hungary, and several other states. This generated a great, and probably justifiable fear in the western states who had also been weakened by the war. The response from America was the formation of NATO to counter USSR and SEATO to counter China militarily, and to institute the diplomatic policy of "containment". The upshot of containment was to use all means short of warfare to halt the communist expansion, these efforts were what became dubbed "the cold war" by the press. Containment allowed the USSR and China to keep its vassal states with approval from the west in return for not attempting expansion elsewhere. It was at best an uneasy truce, exemplified by Khrushchev promising to bury the children of America. Without America, there would not have been a cold war so blame us, but the alternative would have certainly been WW3. This ended when the USSR collapsed, primarily from it inability to feed its people from failed harvests in the Ukraine.

Rozanne Rozanne
Maybe break down what you would put in your resume? Detail what you consider looking nice for an interview would entail?
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Nehushta Nehushta
👍 64 | 👎 -1

Nehushta Originally Answered: Is this essay good? Plz give me some comments,some improvements and the IELTS band score for this essay?
> SHOULD FOOD MANUFACTURERS BE FORCE Wrong verb form: it should be 'forced'. > Nowadays, junk food is gradually becoming a specific part of daily life I think it was always 'specific'. A more to the point word like 'important', 'basic' or 'constant' is better for the essay purpose. > Eating much of these foods causes obesity and premature death; especially foods with high fat Two uses of 'foods' very close to each other. I suggest replacing one of them by a pronoun. > In this essay, I intend to show that food manufacturers need to be forced to ... IMO, a good essay should speak for itself, so the 28 words you use to close the paragraph could be replaced by something more original. > what is good for their body. '...their bodies', actually :) For those cases, if unsure, use adjectives, for example: 'what is good on a corporal level'. > why should the food manufacturers be forced to lower the fat, sugar and salt? You're recycling too much IMO. > The government does not need to make the decision... Unless somebody said the government 'needs' to make that decision, there's no reason for you to state that (i.e. you don't need it, funnily enough). I think something like 'isn't supposed to make the decision' or 'can't afford making the decision' is better. > For example, people would eat more than a sausage if the salt and fat content has reduced because they are not satisfied with these tasteless sausages. While there are no grammatical errors, the way you phrase this part is a bit rookie. Suggested revision: 'For example, a low-fat low-salt sausage would hardly satisfy consumers, so they'd try to compensate by increasing their intake.' > Thus, forcing food manufacturers to lower the fat, sugar and salt content in food may induce people to eat more. You're spinning 'round too much IMO. > young or old alike. Suggested revision: 'young and old alike'. Reasons: it avoids a gratuitous alliteration ('or old') and emphasises the warning nature of the essay. > children being overweight result from taking excessive junk food. This one's not correct. Suggested revisions: '... overweight, a result from...' or '...overweight resulting from...' > Therefore, forcing manufacturers to lower the fat, sugar and salt content in food is necessary. Again, you're repeating yourself too much. > When you eat a poor diet with all kinds of junk food You don't eat a diet, you either 'eat all kinds of junk food' or 'have a poor diet with all kinds of junk food'. > Furthermore, having unhealthy food causes premature deaths. There's nothing wrong in 'having' unhealthy food, unless you're 'eating' it as well ;) Of course, 'having unhealthy meals' does work very well here. 513 words all in all, which is a bit too much for IELTS (you're good to go with half of it), but both grammar and fluency are sound. I'd give you a 7 band or maybe a 7.5.

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