What is wrong with this marriage?

What is wrong with this marriage? Topic: A blank sheet of paper to write on
July 19, 2019 / By Capucine
Question: Everytime I make suggestions about our future my husband rejects any idea that I come up with, but he never comes up with anything. Even small suggestions. I suggested that we make a grocery list and buy everything all at once. He says he does not need to make a list for the month. I suggested that we buy a house and he cancelled on the loan officer 3 times. I told him to get a good job. now he is fired
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Best Answers: What is wrong with this marriage?

Amey Amey | 4 days ago
it's a power struggle... and he's acting out like a spoiled little kid... I'll bet there has never been a resolution to any argument you two have ever had... it's the old addage.... insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results... sounds to me like you've made up your mind about your "suggestions" then get defensive when he puts his two cents in. What's wrong with your marriage is a lack of communication or rather a lack of constructive communication. write him a letter... it will give you an opportunity to explain thoughtfully and coherently, don't make accusations... or use examples of past behavior... use that blank sheet of paper to start a new chapter. a marriage is an equal partnership based on communication, compromise and understanding. Your question appears to indicate that these are lacking. step into his shoes... look at the relationship his parents had... People make general assumptions about how they see their relationship working based on how their parents relationship. See his side... then review your expectations. a grocery list as a major issue? Told him to get a "good" job? yeah... those fall from trees. So he looses his job...maybe he's trying to find that "good" job. Buying a house? when he doesn't have a "good" job? Step back... If you love this man should it matter what he does? Good Luck
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Amey Originally Answered: If gay marriage "undermines the sanctity of marriage"?
I would say that what truly underlyes the entire anti-gay marriage debate for the government is the unwillingness of an elected offical to take a stand. I don't know what the big deal would be to let two people get married. I mean I am married and I pay higher taxes because of it. If they allowed gay marriage, it would increase tax revenue. No more head of house hold or individual tax returns. The other side of your argument is that sexual orientation is not a protected status under the constitution. However the belief that there is or is not a God is protected. I believe that there will come a time when sexual orientation becomes a protected status as most of these protections came about do to constant and historical discrimination. I know that many people who have never known a person that was gay are probably more afraid that their conduct is a perversion. Having worked for some one that was gay, I didn't find that to be the case. Now I know that it takes all kinds to make up a whole group. So I am sure there are just as many gay perverts as there are straight perverts. I guess the bottom line here is that things are changing. It no longer means the end of a career to be found out. Some state courts are challenging the denial of marriage. Legislatures have responded with constitutional amendments to their state constitutions that ban gay marriage. I don't think those amendments will stand for long. Keep on it. Your suggestion is a good one and should provide for more debate. Next time you get a chance, ask your elected representative the same question. I wonder what his or her answer would be. Good Luck

Warner Warner
i have been in the situation with an ex. nothing was ever good enough and the things that i suggested or wanted to do were never important enough to her no matter how important they were to me.. here is what you need to look at.. if you have any dreams or goals that want to accomplish, you might want to step back and look and see if this frustration is even worth it all. another thing you can do is just talk to him.. when i came out the blue and just asked my ex why she was being so difficult, i got the best answer that i could have desired... she said that she has never had anyone treat her good until me and she did not know how to handle it and she has daddy issues (meaning she never lived up to his expectations)... i dont know if your hubby has been in abusive relationships before or if he has daddy issues, but i hope this works.... by the way, for me, her incesant behaviour got to be too much for me to deal with amongst other things
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Rusty Rusty
Do you really expect your husband to get interested in a grocery list?? Maybe you nag too much and to retaliate, he blows off the important things. Maybe you should stop telling him what to do and start being more loving, supportive and caring. If I sat down and told my husband we needed to make a grocery list he'd think I'd gone mental.
👍 37 | 👎 -4

Moss Moss
he doesn't want to contribute the things needed to make a good marriage, not mature enough, doesn't want the same things that u want, isn't real organized and doesn't see a need to be. but the lack of a job would worry me a bit. doesn't seem like he is good marriage material, and u can't do it all by yourself, u need the right partner when u want the right things in life, can't achieve your dreams with someone who doesn't want what u do in life. he will only frustrate u and eventually love will fly out the window.
👍 34 | 👎 -8

Kemp Kemp
I would suggest an unbiased, 3rd party, professional, opinion. He definitely is rebelling against you for some reason. It appears no matter what your opinion/suggestion, it will be wrong... And apparatnly he'll go out of his way to go in the opposite direction. Just out of curiosity, just once, try suggesting the OPPOSITE of what you feel/think.
👍 31 | 👎 -12

Kemp Originally Answered: Atheists, is torturing babies for fun wrong only in your opinion or is it actually wrong?
My "standard" is that anything that causes gratuitous suffering is morally wrong, and I defy anyone to argue against that standard. My standard, fortunately, doesn't rely on the arbitrary will of some powerful figure that I am forced to suppose is moral for fear of the consequences that he is not. But then, how can one meaningfully describe a being such as God as "moral," if one assumes that morality is determined by this God's desires and will? Of course he wants what he wants -- that's just tautology -- but how can we meaningfully say that what he wants is "moral" according to any meaningful standard outside of his own will? Introducing a magical lawgiver doesn't actually solve the problem of the origins of morality; it just pushes the problem back one step. Either your God's moral code is determined by a set of things that he values, in which case it has exactly the same moral foundation as human morality -- or it's entirely arbitrary, without a foundation in compassion or wisdom, and determined only by the whims of a powerful being, the literal embodiment of "might makes right." Which do you assert: that God employs the same process of moral reasoning that an atheist does, or that God is a whimsical dictator with no deeper understanding behind his decrees? Edit: "if you create something you can choose whether it's right or wrong" What? So you ARE arguing for a nonsensical and arbitrary standard outlined by a whimsical dictator? Okay then.

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