How do I make this less painful for her?
Topic: How to write a good love letter for her
June 17, 2019 / By Carreen Question:
Okay well, me and my exgirlfriend REALLY loved each other not too long ago, but she then later said that her love towards me was starting to "fade away". She said she would really love to just try and be friends with me, so I tried, but I can't just be friends with her, it's just not going to work out. So I will post the "goodbye letter" that I wrote to her in here in hopes that someone will give me good advice in what to do and how to cope with this, and I'm also going to post her response . . . I sincerely need all the support I can get because these last days have been the toughest ones in my life. . . so here it goes . .
My goodbye letter:
"Uhh. . . how do I say this???
Unfortunately, there's no other way to saying this than to say it straight out. It's not that I want to, I NEED to lose all sorts of connections with you. I NEED you to disappear off my life and I need to disappear off yours. It seems like you've moved on already and it seemed very easy for you to to do it, and I still gotta move on with my life. I can never be just friends with you. I cannot live with myself always thinking that there's a chance when there's actually not. I STILL wonder if you actually loved me, love just doesn't "fade away" like that.
Anyways, this is my LAST GOODBYE, and I promise you it is. I also promise you that I will move on and learn from this experience.
It sucks to say goodbye like this and not with a hug or a kiss . . . but things are how they are I guess . . .
I don't want to have to keep on messaging you because I will just be tormenting myself even more . . .
I HAVE to forget about you some way or another, and that's why I'm also deleting you off my friends list.
PLEASE DON'T CALL ME OR LOOK FOR ME AT ALL, IF YOU DO THIS YOU'LL MAKE THINGS HARDER FOR ME.
Don't worry, I will move on and I know you got your friends to support you in whatever you need.
Again, goodbye one more time and forever, it was a pleasure having been your boyfriend for a year."
Then here is her response:
"So....that's it your never going to talk to me again. Just note: by you "leaving" and not wanting to be friends or even trying to be...then I have no friends. Those are not my real friends those are what you call "fake friends" and just cause it seems like I've moved on doesn't actually mean I have remember:I am very good at hiding my feelings. You really making this hard for the both of us now,I was JUST getting used to the fact that we were gunna TRY to be friends yet we haven't. I have tried,I invited you to come hang out with us in Allens and I've wanted to talk to you (as friends). Well fine whatever if that's the way you wanna be and say goodbye then there's no point in me stopping you. I just wish that you wouldn't ....and really off of facebook ??? Can't you just not talk to me on facebook you have to delete me. *sighhhhhh* god damn why do I feel like your leaving for "war" this early,well if this is what its gunna feel like then I guess i don't have to live through it again later on...."
IDK what I should do, she's really hurting right now and it hurts me to know that. . .
Any help will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Best Answers: How do I make this less painful for her?
Angelique | 2 days ago
i have been through somewhat the similar situation.....
i can totally imagine how hard it must be for you...
i had to remove her from my life .......i tried it like millions times...but she wouldn't go away......so i had to do it in a hard way........and now that i have lost her by all means.........and there's not even rarest of chance for me to get her back into my life....i am totally regretting having removed her outta my life.
so all i would say is.........please don't do that.........talk to your friend(ex gf)......just act normal.....
and this time just don't show too much of emotional involvement with her....let her take the initiative to talk to you.......you just reply her as a friend.....
now i feel like I'd rather have her in my life as a friend than not at all.......and i don't want you to feel the same about ur friend.....
and who knows what time brings you into ur life.............just like the way her love for u faded away.......... in d same way it can fade in too.
so just be a nice friend.......as long as you'll have her in ur life.......there' will always be a chance of
winning her love............so to win it......you got to be in it!
DON'T LET HER GO..........the day she'll say that she wanna go outta ur life...........that should be the day to say goodbye to her
👍 172 | 👎 2
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Originally Answered: Help:breast found lump last year ,now breast is painful?
Firstly I am not a medic, however I do suffer with similar breast problems. In my case it is cysts within the breast, very common and the cause of the lumpy breast.
Secondly you say you are on vitamin D, are you taking it as cod liver oil or evening primrose oil, both can aggravate cysts,although it does help a lot of women with this type of breast problem.
Try using vitamin B6, with Zinc and a small amount of magnesium as an alternative, you can overdose on vitamin D, one of the few you can, if you have dry skin and are having to moisturise a lot, consider this as the problem.
I was told a long time ago if the breast is sore it is unlikely to be cancer, cancer is silent but deadly, that is why it is so difficult to pick up. Sore breasts are more likely to indicate hormone,vitamin, or milk duct (cysts) problems.
Hope that directs you to an answer and helps in some way
Why write a letter? She probably won't read it and if she does then it will just piss her off more later? Better off just ignoring her, it is apparent she doesn't want you around. I am sorry if that sounds cold and harsh, but I have been in this boat many times myself personally! She probably deleted you off of Facebook for a reason.....which is she is so over you, and has moved on! She don't care and now you have to pick up the pieces for yourself. Basically I know how you feel as I have said, and all a goodbye letter is, is ammo for her to share with her girlfriends, or some other twisted plot! I am not saying all women are evil, but there is differences in men and women that your letter will probably be used against you! Far be it to not try to help though as I am hear reading what you wrote. But find something to do with your time to get your mind off her, and busy yourself constructively! Even something simple like a hobby, or what not, but sitting there stewing isn't going to solve anything! Trust me, at times it is better to take a class in sewing, or auto mechanics or something then it is just moping around wish she would talk to you. Good luck, and remember you are probably better off, because now how could you ever trust her again?
👍 70 | 👎 -2
Both of you are hurting. You've had a relationship....and cared for each other. She wants to still be friends and you want to wipe her out of your life.
Yes, there is going to be some sad times....that's the expectation when we break up with someone...but you ARE resilient....don't create a hard shell around your heart...by forcing her out of your life totally.
Go THROUGH the tough part and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Recognize that IF she IS meant for you then at a future time that may happen, in the meantime, do not hold on to false hope.
This may be life's way of saying there is someone even better for you out there...
Your choice---you can spend your time drowning in your sorrows...or you take this time to learn more about yourself, your strengths and about relationships....
Get the following books and read and study them:
The Five Love Languages
Confidence and Power
and any other great books that will help you move forward
Become--stronger--(not calloused) because of this....
👍 69 | 👎 -6
there's ONE great benefit to being a guy
(besides getting to pee standing up.)
That's in break-ups.
We simply quit calling.
No more calls, e-mails, txt msgs, facebook, etc.
Just f--king STOP chasing her.
And don't answer anything she sends your way.
Do NOT send any girl a "break-up / good-bye" letter.
There's NOTHING good that can come of this.
Odds are great: ANYTHING you write, no matter how sweet & kind you may intend it to be, will get twisted & used against you.
So, you're BOTH hurt right now.
However, you'll find another girl to chase, and
she'll have new guys chasing her.
She'll PROBABLY have some new guy ask her out next weekend.
Don't worry about it. Move on.
👍 68 | 👎 -10
DO NOTHING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING i know i had a gf in 1 grade just do nothing at all get a life find a girlfreind what the hell else would you expect us to answer good job you made a girl upset now go kill yourself no dont really i dont wanna have that on my back for the rest of my life
👍 67 | 👎 -14
Originally Answered: Crossdressing. how can i make her want to make me do it?
Ask her, in all honesty what she thinks about cross dressing in general and the people who do it. Tell her how you feel about it and that you kinda like it. She needs to understand that about you inorder for your friendship to maintain trust and understanding. If she doesn't agree with it or looks down on it that's fine. But if she can't at least tolerate the idea of you being comfortable that way, she is not really your friend.
Additional notes: I was in a hurry when i wrote this and did not include some information.
One of my dearest friends is a cross dresser. He really enjoys it. Sure, I don't always agree with it or rather it doesn't always agree with me. I'm not offended or anything, it's just something I'm not used to and he only came out about this about a year or so ago. But the fact of the matter is he isn't hurting anyone, and it makes him happy. So why shouldn't I be happy for him? Why should I judge him and bring him down? Admittedly, sometimes i poke fun at him, but he knows I'm only joking. If nothing else it's good to have someone with more interest in fashion around me. I love him and wouldn't change him for the world. If your friend really cares about you, it won't really matter that you like to play dress up ;P