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My friend is getting married but I am not sure whether to agree to witness the wedding?

My friend is getting married but I am not sure whether to agree to witness the wedding? Topic: The sisters brothers themes in the great
July 24, 2019 / By Kasey
Question: My husband and I are best friends with an awesome guy. I love him to death as a brother. Well, he has been miserably single for the last five months. His fiance (who has a two and half year old little boy) broke up with him and refused him contact with her son (Not his) who calls him dad.That was a sad story. Well, about two weeks ago she called his sister up, wanted to bring the son over for a visit but didn't want my friend (further referred to as Mike) to be there. Well my friends sister said that she would not tell Mike to leave. The ex (further refered to as Ashley) still came over and ended up getting back together. Well now all is good for about a week until Mike announces to my husband and I that he and Ashley are getting married December 10th. He then goes to Kay's buys her a half carat diamond ring. They go to a theme park with us for a day and during that day they are either furious with each other or all over each other. To the point that it makes me and my husband uncomfortable. She paid for nothing and demanded allot of things. She got mad at him for having a beer, etc. etc. etc. I also saw a side of my friend that I had never seen before. He got offened at the least little thing. Then, after we got back, he dropped another bomb on us. They were getting married in two weeks at the courthouse and they need us to witness. Now her family strongly disapproves and his has tried to talk him out of it but with no sucess. His family is so involved that I wonder why they wouldnt be the witness. So, with this so messed up I must wonder if me and my husband should support my friend because this is his decision to make, or if we shouldn't.Let me add they have dated for 2 and 1/2 years on and off breaking up for 5 times.
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Best Answers: My friend is getting married but I am not sure whether to agree to witness the wedding?

Haward Haward | 5 days ago
Tell him he can do better and you won't witness his getting married until he DOES pick someone better, and he himself grows up. People who have on/off relationships are unlikely to make marriage last a lifetime. Do not support this. When my brother got married, we all tried talking him out of marrying this gal. We were told we didn't know what we were talking about. But we had to stomach the wedding, and stomach her for five years, until my brother finally divorced her. We had to stomach all that, otherwise he would have cut us off and we couldn't have been there for him when he finally divorced her. But this is family. When it's a friend, you don't have to, nor should you, stomach this. I did this with some of my friends. I told them I wasn't going to support them in bad on/off relationships. They later thanked me and learned from that. Being a good friend means being completely honest with him and telling him you aren't going to support this. Good friends do NOT support their friends in making bad life decisions. If he was such a good friend, he wouldn't even ask you to support this circus. He knows where you stand, and wouldn't ask you to compromise your convictions. You can also tell him no decent woman is going to want him being he's involved in such a dysfunctional relationship. I was 29, and my husband was 39 when we married, so we both know what being miserably single is, but I rather be single vs be in such a dysfunctional relationship. In fact, I was in one, but I ended it myself after 9 months when I was 19 and didn't let it become an on/off relationship. Want to know what catapulted me into ending it? One of my best friends was completely honest with me about the loser I was with. She told me she didn't like him, didn't like how he treated me, and that she wasn't supporting the relationship. Remember, we were both 19. We are 37 now and still are great friends.
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We found more questions related to the topic: The sisters brothers themes in the great


Haward Originally Answered: Jehovahs Witness: Do Jews understand the events on Mt Sinai and the 10 Commandments to indicate a wedding?
Contrary to what the JWs believe, Israel is only temporarily cut off from God, because they were behind the death of Jesus. Of course, God knew all this ahead of time. They haven't lost their promises and they will be restored. God still has an amazing plan of salvation for them. Jesus will be re-identified to the Jews as the promised Messiah and He will accepted as Savior. I ask, then, has God rejected his people? By no means! For I myself am an Israelite, a descendant of Abraham, a member of the tribe of Benjamin. God has not rejected his people whom he foreknew. Rom. 11:1, 2a A wonderful section of Romans 11. And even they, if they do not continue in their unbelief, will be grafted in, for God has the power to graft them in AGAIN. For if you were cut from what is by nature a wild olive tree, and grafted, contrary to nature, into a cultivated olive tree, how much more will these, the natural branches, be grafted BACK INTO their own olive tree. Rom. 11:23, 24. Israel's Salvation - It all works together perfectly so Gentiles could be grafted in. Lest you be wise in your own sight, I do not want you to be unaware of this mystery, brothers: a partial hardening has come upon Israel, until the fullness of the Gentiles has come in. And in this way all Israel will be saved, as it is written, “The Deliverer will come from Zion, he will banish ungodliness from Jacob” and this will be my covenant with them when I take away their sins.” As regards the gospel, they are enemies for your sake. But as regards election, they are beloved for the sake of their forefathers. For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. For just as you were at one time disobedient to God but now have received mercy because of their disobedience, so they too have now been disobedient in order that by the mercy shown to you they also may now receive mercy. For God has consigned all to disobedience, that he may have mercy on all. Rom. 11:25-32 Restoration of Israel Hosea 14 Other amazing prophecies about the restoration of Israel Ezekiel...chapter 39 is great. “Therefore thus says the Lord God: Now I will restore the fortunes of Jacob and have mercy on the whole house of Israel, and I will be jealous for my holy name. They shall forget their shame and all the treachery they have practiced against me, when they dwell securely in their land with none to make them afraid, when I have brought them back from the peoples and gathered them from their enemies' lands, and through them have vindicated my holiness in the sight of many nations. Then they shall know that I am the Lord their God, because I sent them into exile among the nations and then assembled them into their own land. I will leave none of them remaining among the nations anymore. And I will not hide my face anymore from them, when I pour out my Spirit upon the house of Israel, declares the Lord God.” Eze. 39:25-29 That one is amazing because it has already started. God has already started re-gathering the Jews to Israel. We're watching prophecy fulfillment happening right now. Jews AND Gentiles will be united as one flock, under one Shepherd - Jesus. John 10:16 A warning... “‘I know your tribulation and your poverty (but you are rich) and the slander of those who say that they are Jews and are not, but are a synagogue of Satan. Behold, I will make those of the synagogue of Satan who say that they are Jews and are not, but lie—behold, I will make them come and bow down before your feet, and they will learn that I have loved you. Rev. 2:9, 3:9

Elifaz Elifaz
I am honestly torn on this. If you really can't witness the wedding with a clean conscience then I suggest not doing it. Your friend may be offended, but if it makes you that uncomfortable then it may not be the right thing. I really wish I could help more. Oh, and I understand the need for all the detail but writing a lot tends to keep people from answering your question. I would suggest summarizing it by just saying that a good friend is marrying a toxic woman and that they fight a lot then explain your situation. That may you can get more perspectives on this :) Good luck!
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Chandler Chandler
I'm torn too. On one hand, I think he is a big boy and can make up his own mind about who to marry. Your role as his friend is to be supportive of his decisions, whether you agree with them or not. On the other hand, if it bothers you to this extent, I can certainly see why you don't feel comfortable being there for their wedding. However, think about what this could do to your friendship if you tell him repeatedly you don't agree with his decision, and then refuse to bear witness to his wedding. I think unless you can come up with a good excuse (ie. lie) for why you can't be there that day, you should go and show him your support. Remember - you are only a witness. You are not responsible for his decisions. As his friend, you will be there showing your support for your friend and his decisions - not necessarily showing support (approval) for the marriage itself. I would go and tell him you support him no matter what he does - whether you agree with it or not. You will be there for him when he gets married, and you will be there for him down the road if they are fighting or divorcing, without a word about "I told you so." Being a good friend means being there no matter what - not just when your friend does things you tell them to do. It just wouldn't be fair to tell him what he should do about his love life or marriage.
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Alpine Alpine
I think you need to go with your friends wishes he is big enough to make his own mistakes but at the same time let him know you arent happy and you think he is making a big mistake.
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Alpine Originally Answered: Can i be a friend to a married lady and nothing more?
Hello Protege, I am very likely much older than you and you may not see things from my perspective. Please bear with me if you will and I will tell you what my years of living have taught me about your situation. You say that you are not looking for a relationship....your divorce is not final yet. It is human nature for people to want to be with other people. No man is an island as the old song goes. I have been in your situation before and I know several people that have been there too. I believe you when you say that you would like to be just friends with this married lady but I can assure you without one ounce of doubt that you will be opening a can of worms. Relationships that are started in the way that you speak of begin very innocently. You start out saying hello to each other as you pass by. Then that leads up to short chats that are just niceties, exchanging generalized conversation. Then one day one or the other of you will notice that your "just" friend is having a bad day. Then comes the, "are you okay," line and after that the ball really begins to roll. One might say, "it's okay. I don't want to dump my problems on you. You're such a good friend." Then the other feeling proud to be called a good griend says, "you won't be dumping your problems on me. That's what friends do....they help each other out when something is going wrong in their lives." The next thing you know someone hugs someone and holds them in their arms and begins to tell them that everything will be just fine. From there it's just a hop, skip and a jump to, " we are friends and friends watch the others back. As long as the two of us stick together nothing can bring us down." Then begins the, "I've never known anyone that understands me like you do. I'm so glad that we found each other." Not long after that cames the kiss and now the "friendship" is over and after spending so much time and energy on each other, and being so vulnerable together, you find that you are in love with each other. Appropiate, albiet foolhardy, plans for your lives together begin to take shape. Before you know it you're married and after the vulnerability and problems from when you were just friends have been solved, you will find that those were the only things that you had in common and then begins the viscious cycle begins. Trust me on this one, men and women cannot have platonic relationships. There are no "just friends" buddies between men and women. I know that a lot of people don't think the same way about this as I do but if I were you I would distance myself from said married lady as fast as I could back peddle. Try to remember your own words, "I admit I find myself quite vulnerable." You're hurting and you really do desparately need someone in your life to help you get through this painful time. If you are a Christian but haven't been to church in years I would urge you to hightail it to the nearest church and speak with the pastor about arranging counceling sessions with you. Make the arrangements and don't miss a single session. The pastors are trained to council folks who are in painful situations.....of every kind. Please don't let vulnerability make you weak enough to fall into the "were just friends," trap.

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