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What sounds like a better description for the story i'm writing?

What sounds like a better description for the story i'm writing? Topic: How to write a book cover description
May 25, 2019 / By Lake
Question: just write 1 for the first one, and 2 for the second one. 1. Shayde Imperia was just turned into a vampire in the middle of a desert, and was left there. When she woke up, she had a migraine, and she was burning internally. All of a sudden, in her peripheral vision, she saw another vampire that was named Steele Draegen, and he told her what she was. At first she didn't believe him, but after a few questions, Shayde knew that she was a vampire. 2. Shayde Imperia was just turned into a vampire and woke up blood lust in the middle of a sunny desert with no humans nearby, while fighting a migraine. Minutes later, Shayde was writhing in internal burning agony, but then spots another of her kind. His name is Steele Draegen. please no critisism like "oh no! not another vampire story" or something like that! this is nothing compared to twilight!! and yes, i am crazed about it, but im making a DIFFERENT storyline than twilight!!! 19 minutes ago the storyline isnt about shayde becoming a vampire. the storyline is about something else i have in mind... and im only 12... this IS NOT the story!! lol this is the DESCRIPTION usually found on the back cover of the booK!!
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Best Answers: What sounds like a better description for the story i'm writing?

Isador Isador | 3 days ago
How would the vampire automatically know who the other vampire was in the first one? Two is better, except why would a vampire get a migraine? They're undead?
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Isador Originally Answered: Which story idea sounds the most interesting to you?
I like the partners who fall in love idea, because it seems to fit better with the whole theme of redemption and turning your life around. Like, they started out just working togeather after someting terrible happened to each of them.Then they started to like each other and help each other deal with the reasons behind whatever happened to them. They slowly fall in love and togeather they become stronger and work to improve their lives and the lives of others. At least, that's how I'm reading it ^.^'
Isador Originally Answered: Which story idea sounds the most interesting to you?
I personally think it would be good if you had him help people but at a price of not being allowed (notice: allowed) to fall in love. He gets a partner to keep him from falling in love. But, as the way things go, our hero falls head over heels anyway. Good luck! :)
Isador Originally Answered: Which story idea sounds the most interesting to you?
Sorry, but the concept is a bit confusing, but I think I get what you are trying to say (: Both sound interesting, if you want to do a romance the first is a better idea but if your shooting for more of an adventure story the second idea would work better. me, being a devoted fan of romance, prefer the first idea but both are great! Hope I helped and happy writing!

Farrell Farrell
Go twelve year olds! that's the age I was when I first read it...(now I'm 13) How about this? I'll give you CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. 1. I'm very sorry, but that description sound all too much like Twilight, so how about you change the way she feels when she's turning into a vampire, and she meets this Draegen dude later on? 2. Cool name, btw. Um...I'd have to say to, once again, change the "writhing in agony" thing. Maybe it's peaceful??? and make her meet Steele later. :-) I hope this has helped.
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Farrell Originally Answered: Would you read this story? Only description?
It sounds EXACTLY like the type of story I love reading the most. I love stories like this, the really original ones, and I'm positive I wouldn't be the only one: it has everything a "good" story needs! I think this phrase I read once would describe it perfectly "it has everything but the kitchen sink". Or something. But yeah, it sounds amazing!
Farrell Originally Answered: Would you read this story? Only description?
Sounds like a lot of stories the only difference is the Jupiter thing. Mine? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

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