5355 Shares

How should I talk to her?

How should I talk to her? Topic: Cue and case set
April 19, 2019 / By Basil
Question: I know this is the wrong section, but everyone seems to answer everyone in this section, and I posted this awhile ago in the correct section and got no answers. There's this girl that I was best friends with four years back, and I don't know what I happened (can't remember) but we stopped talking. I'm 19 years old now, and she added me on facebook. I want to be friends with her again, so without sounding weird or extremely awkward, what should I start saying so that we can talk? I feel like I don't want to rush it or make things awkward... So any ideas of what I should do? Also, to make this a horse question. I shareboard a horse and a lot of the time he "challenges" me and baulks when I want him to go somewhere. I feel as though I am not firm enough with him, because even if I repeatedly try to get him to do it, he always refuses and it gets worse. Now, I feel as though it's just me, because the owner will say "yeah I was riding him today and he was acting up, but he quickly submitted after I kept with it". What can I be doing wrong?
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Best Answers: How should I talk to her?

Zibia Zibia | 10 days ago
For the friend issue, I agree with the first poster. SHE added YOU, so she's obviously interested in getting in touch with you again. She's probably feeling just as awkward as you are, which is why she has not taken additional steps to contact you. But, she did make the 1st move. Now it's your turn to show her that you are open to contact. You don't have to send a long email spilling your guts, just a simple, "hey, what's up, how ya doin'!" will work. If she really wants to try to renew the friendship, she will respond. If not, no big deal. Nothing ventured, nothing gained! On the horse issue, it's kind of hard to say because I have not seen the way you interact with this horse. It may be that you just need to be more firm. People on this website like to stress the importance of disciplining your horse, but they forget that discipline is not always what's needed. It may be that you are giving the horse the wrong signals, or disciplining him in an incorrect manner. If that is the case, doing the wrong thing only with more firmness will not give you a better result. It will just make the horse more determined to distrust you. I often see riders making mistakes, then punishing the horse for not listening to a signal that was incorrect or unclear to the horse. Also, a good horseman tries to set up situations that make it easy for the horse to make the right choice, not waits for the horse to do the wrong thing and then gets mad about it! Watch the owner work with the horse to see how she handles him. If she is simply more firm than you, then you need to be more firm. But if she is giving him different cues or uses more skill and finesse when cueing him, you need to work on improving your skill instead of punishing the horse. If the owner is willing to teach you, that's great. But it's not really her job, she is perfectly within her rights to tell you to take some lessons from a qualified instructor instead.
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We found more questions related to the topic: Cue and case set


Zibia Originally Answered: Should I tell my dad why I don't want to talk to him?
First of all I have to say there are too many secrets in this family situation. First: You have to talk to your dad and get that situation sorted out because that is causing all your problems. If you cannot speak to him on the telephone or SKYPE then you have got to write him a letter and explain how you are feeling about the situation. That is only fair on both sides, because I am sure he would be concerned about you. You also have to tell him your are not well and under the care of the doctor, because he should know about how this has effected you. Second: You have to talk to your mother about your illness, this is not fair on her she is your mother and would want to help and support you. I suspect this is to do with the failed marriage and your father being so far away. On top of all that you have problems at school. Now with everything that has happened in your life I am not surprised you are ill. So the way back is to actually tell the people concerned HOW YOU FEEL. Once this is sorted out you will feel a lot better. So write your dad a letter and explain how you feel and that you are ill. But also talk to your mother so she knows, because your father will obviously speak to her. So you had better say in his letter that you are going to tell your mother all about it as well. Also say to both of them that you don't want them arguing about you, you want support. Once you have done this you will feel better and the ball will be in their court to help you. Well I do hope I have been of some help to you - all the best.

Sherah Sherah
Post a comment on her wall, saying something like "Hey! I haven't talked to you in forever! How have you been? We should hang out sometime." Something like that. People post stuff on each others walls or status's like that all the time. And if she gets back with you, then just go hang out or something. Make it a group thing with several people so that it's not awkward. Invite people you both know though, or else she might feel out of place with a bunch of people that she doesn't know. As for the horse, have the owner help you and work through it. I don't know enough of the story to help you on that, however if he is fine for someone else and not for you, you may want to do some thinking about what it is you are doing differently. Good luck, on both situations.
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Peg Peg
this is an answer to your horse problem... if you feel like you're not being firm enough and he refuses after repeated attempts, then you're not being firm enough. kick him harder if he won't go, jerk his head to the side with your reins and apply outside leg pressure and make him go in tight circles if he won't turn. if he won't stop, pull harder and lean back and as soon as he stops make him back up a few steps then let him rest for a minute once he does (it's actually a good habit to back your horse a couple steps every time you stop them so that they learn to stop with less of a signal from you). sometimes horses just test their limits and you have to correct them and some horses need harsher corrections than others. don't be afraid you're going to hurt him
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Marina Marina
with your friend maybe just say gday how you going what have you been up too have not spoken in a while atlease that will get the ball rolling. you have to keep being firm with him, make him do what his asked to do, do not give into him he prob knows your going to give up.
👍 72 | 👎 -5

Kristel Kristel
YOUR HORSE IS ON FACEBOOK!!?? I thought my horse was cool because it could write it's name in the dirt. It is sad though that you guys havn't talked. Keep in mind though that although your horse is talented enough to get on facebook, they still lack the developed vocal cords to actually talk. So try not to be so demanding.
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Kristel Originally Answered: ?how do I talk to him?
Since you didn't close the question I answered earlier, I will help you again. If you want to talk to him, start by acting confident. Sociology studies show that people who act confident are more confident. Also another reason to talk to him is if you don't, he probably won't either since both of you are shy and you will end up regretting it like I did. Before you start the day when you will talk to him, look your best. Even though it sounds weird, compliment yourself in the mirror. Practice this daily because it is PROVEN to make you more confident. I AM SURE that he likes you, because I'm a guy who acted exactly like that before, and he is probably just as nervous as you. Before you talk to him, remember the tips for confidence, and go up to him. Say "hey" without even thinking before you act, and in your own mind, pretend like it was an accident even though it wasn't, so you will be able to say hey. Talk to him about class or ask him a question about class or homework or something. Then get to know his name and ask about his favorite movie/color/etc... (This is what girls say to me when they like me and want to talk to me) He will pick up on this and he will know you like him. If he doesn't ask you out right there, then get his number and text/facebook him constantly (not too much, you don't want to look too obsessed) until he does, and he will because I am sure he likes you. Guys like shy girls, so don't worry. It will be better because both of you are shy and you will get along well. I know how tough it is to be shy trying to talk to someone you like... After all the positive thinking, I am very outgoing and I can get tons of girls! If you find that you absolutely can't do what I just said, then start the conversation on facebook. Type "hey" to him and 'accidentally' press the enter key and do the same thing pretty much and end the conversation with "see you in class :)" or something like that and then you can continue talking to him in class. Also when you are thinking to yourself or about to talk to him on facebook, find a 'confidence' song. Personally, mine is Trapt - Headstrong, but i don't know if you like alternative rock music or not. Also, try to talk to him sooner rather than later, I have made this mistake too many times with girls, and guys LOVE IT when girls make the first move! I promise this will work out, and if it does, then you have to promise to select my answers as best answers because I like helping people, and I have good advice that works, but no one listens... If you need any more help, then email me at [email protected], I am currently helping a few people with their problems and I can help you through this, and I guarantee you this guy you like is yours! ;) To sum it up: 1. Look your best that day, build confidence, and find a song. 2. Go to class and talk to him (or on facebook if you absolutely can't and have tried in real life too many times) 3. Say "hey" to him 'accidentally' and pick up the conversation from there. 4. Ask him questions about class, then about personal stuff like favorites, then get his number 5. Text/facebook until he asks you out. 6. You both can take it from there because both of you are shy and this will work out!

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